with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
