At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
