i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
These tits shall not be calmed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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