hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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