Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
