he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I touched a dick in church today
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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