You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
