dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
