I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
