I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
