farters have to be the big spoon...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
