God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
