My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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