Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
