I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
