Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
