I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
