It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
