we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
