You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
