A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
handjob tips. give me some.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
