woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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