I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
