just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This house was built for laser tag.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
