There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
