Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
