Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
