Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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