I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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