She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
