New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
