Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
soo... how was my night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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