just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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