i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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