Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
