I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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