This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
