Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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