no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
