Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
