Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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