...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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