btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
