Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
