Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
