No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
