omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
