i was born a porn star she said
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
