I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
