She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
