Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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